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Being Single on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day. For some, it’s an exciting time to spread their love. For others, it may be a reminder of love lost.

The first holiday after divorce can be difficult. Whether it is Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s or a Birthday, memories of the past may come flooding back to you – the good, bad and ugly.

Valentine’s Day in particular can be difficult. The grocery store is filled with pink and red hearts, teddy bears, balloons, flowers and chocolate. Today’s culture won’t let you forget this day is near and it may be a reminder of your newly single status.

With a holiday like Valentine’s Day, everything centers and points towards love. At this point in your life, there may not be any love left for you to give.

Whether you are in the process of divorce or have made it to the other side, there are a few things you can do to take your mind off the one you may have loved dearly.

1. Treat Yourself

Get a massage, buy the pretty flowers at the grocery store or pick up your favorite meal – do what makes you happy! It is important to take care of yourself. Hit the gym or watch your favorite show or movie (but maybe avoid a romantic comedy this year).

2. Love Your Children (or pet!)

No matter what is happening in your marriage, you still may have children who are the love of your life. And if you don’t have children, maybe you have a pet. Spoil them! Celebrate them and make them feel loved.

3. Rediscover a Lost Passion

Try redirecting your thoughts and attention to something positive that you may have lost during your marriage. Whether it is reading, drawing, writing or exercising, focus your attention on that thing. Sign up for a pottery or painting class. Maybe join the new gym down the road. Remember what you are passionate about and do that thing.

4. Remember the Why

Oftentimes it can be difficult to fall back into the trap of remembering your spouse and the memories you shared. Remember though, why you got divorced and what lead you to take that step in the first place. Then think about all the progress you made since then and be proud of yourself.

As you close out this first Valentine’s Day without your spouse, remember that it is just another day. Just because your spouse may be gone, doesn’t mean that you don’t have any love. You have self-love! Remember what Gloria Gaynor so famously wrote, “I’ve got all my life to live, I’ve got all my love to give. And I will survive. I will survive!” You will survive this day because things do get better. Time is the ultimate healer.