Declining Divorce Rates: Why We May Be Experiencing a Shift Away From Divorce

We have all heard the saying “half of marriages end in divorce”, but have you ever stopped to think about whether half of marriages actually end in divorce? In reality, fifty percent of marriages do not end in divorce. This is a myth that started in the 1970s when the court system introduced no fault divorces. In fact, divorce rates have declined in the United States steadily since the 1980s.[1] However, the belief that half of marriages end in divorce continues to be a persuasive myth in our society.

Over the past decade, divorce rates in Texas have significantly dropped, mirroring national trends.[2] In 2023, only 2.1 out of every 1,000 people got divorced, down from 5.5 in 1990.[3] So why are more people staying together? This blog will explore the reasons behind the societal shift away from people getting divorces in the Texas and the United States.

Cohabitating Prior to Marriage

Through the years, how couples approach dating has changed. Out of all the people you know, how many of them lived together prior to getting married? Today, it is more common than in the past to co-habitat with one’s partner prior to getting married.[4]

When couples co-habit prior to marriage, they learn how to live, and whether they can live, with their partner prior to tying the knot. From dishes to bills to pets, learning to live with another person for the first time can be difficult. If you are struggling to adjust living with your partner, you are not alone. You must learn how to adjust some of the most intimate parts of your life to accommodate a new person’s wants and habits.

For many people, learning how the other person lives prior to marriage through cohabitation can make the transition into marriage smoother and easier. Additionally, the couples who find out that they cannot live together discover this fact prior to marriage and can move on from the relationship without having to file for divorce. Although any form of a break-up is difficult, many people will probably agree that it is easier to break-up from a dating partner rather than a spouse. For this reason, the increase in couples cohabitating has likely impacted divorce rates in the United States.

Delay in Getting Married

A generation or two ago, people could find a good job after graduating high school that would allow them and their families to live a comfortable middle-class life. Over time, more young people feel the need to attend college and even pursue post-college education, such as graduate school, medical school, or law school, in order to make ends meet.

As more young people seek out educational opportunities, this may play a role in why people are getting married later in life.[5] Anyone who has been through college and post-college education can attest that getting married while studying can be difficult. Additionally, young adults may feel the need to delay marriage in the hopes of gaining greater financial independence. Many people attending college and other educational opportunities feel the stress of paying off student loans while also forgoing years in the workforce. They emerge in their early to late twenties sometimes with debt, little work experience, and oftentimes minimal savings. Reasonably so, many young people do not feel ready to get married in their low to mid-twenties.

Many young people delay getting married until they are older due to these economic hardships. Although this does not apply to everyone, many people grow, change, and learn a lot about themselves during their twenties. Think back to when you were in your early to mid-twenties compared to your late twenties, thirties, or even now. How has your personalities, ambitions, and outlook on life change since you were younger? Many people might realize that they changed a lot since they were young. As people get older, oftentimes people experience more stability in their lives and become more aware of who they are as people. Therefore, delaying marriage to an older age likely plays a role in the decreasing divorce rates in the United States.

Normalization of Therapy

Seeking help from a mental health professional has become increasingly more normalized in our society both for individuals and couples. Therapy is a great opportunity for people to grow as individuals and with their partner. Couples who are experiencing issues in their marriage are oftentimes attempting to work through those issues with professional help rather than going straight to a divorce. Similarly, individuals who are in a marriage relationship are also seeking therapy to address their own personal issues that might be negatively impacting their marriage.

When couples attend therapy, they are learning skills and coping mechanisms that can improve their marriages. As anyone who is marriage can attest, marriage is not always easy, so it is understandable that couples may need help from time to time to work through issues. Therapy can really help couples learn how to communicate in healthy, productive ways. Many times, couples end up getting divorced because they simply do not know how to communicate with each other. If there was infidelity, a therapist can help couples address the underlying reasons why the cheating occurred, assist the couple in rebuilding trust in their relationship, and helping the other spouse heal from their spouse cheating. Furthermore, therapists can help couples navigate other common stressors for married couples, such as family, children, finances, and careers. Therapy can help alleviate some of these stressors. Therefore, the normalization of therapy in our society today has likely led to less married couples seeking out a divorce to solve their marital problems.

Greater Financial Stability Prior to Marriage

People in their early twenties are less financially independent than previous generations.[6] Due to this lack of financial independence, young people may be getting married later than in the past. In our experience, many couples ultimately end up getting a divorce because of money issues and the stress financial problems can bring to a marriage. Marriage can already be difficult at times, so adding additional financial stress on top of marital issues further complicate things.

Today, more adults find themselves in positions of financial stability before they get married because they are delaying the age they get married.[7] Instead of marrying younger, adults are waiting until after college or graduate school when they are in the workforce before getting married. With greater financial stability often comes less stress and fighting over money and, therefore, more happier marriages.

Picking a Partner

Other experts argue that divorce rates in the United States are declining over time because the way we choose our partner has fundamentally changed through the years.[8] Some experts have found that in the past people entered into what they call romantic marriages.[9] These marriages are based on the couples experiencing romantic feelings and physical attraction towards one another.[10] A couple might experience issues if their marriage is strongly rooted in physical attraction and romantic feelings. As people age, their bodies and appearance also will inevitably change. If a marriage is based on physical attraction, the couple might experience issues if they are no longer physically attracted to their partner as they age or go through other life changes, such as having children. As discussed, many married people will admit that marriage is not always fun and married couples will experience hard times. Couples need a strong foundation to weather the difficult times. If the marriage is based on romantic feelings, the couple may struggle to navigate trying times when romance is not prominent in their relationship.

Today experts argue that people are more oftentimes choosing partners based on companionship rather than romance.[11] Companionate marriages involve marriages where the couple feels a deeper connection beyond romance and physical attraction that resembles a friendship.[12] People who seek out marriages based on companionship oftentimes prioritize open and honest communication, consistent support, and mutual respect rather than prioritizing passion and romance. These aspects of the relationship can help the couple have a strong marriage in good and bad times. For this reason, some experts believe this shift in how we choose our partners plays a role in the declining divorce rates.[13]

Ultimately, no one reason exists for declining divorce rates in the United States. Instead, a combination of many factors, such as the ones discussed here, has led to less married couples seeking out a divorce. It will be interesting to see whether this trend towards decreasing divorce rates continues as new generations of young adults decide to get married. We know that many couples hear the old saying “half of marriages end in divorce”. We hope this blog has helped dispel that myth and gives couples additional assurance that they are more likely to stay married than experience a divorce.